Paragraph rewrite exercise

Add power to these paragraphs with your rewrite

Rewrite these paragraphs in the box below. To compare your work to the editor's, press "Check."

Issues in paragraph #1

Passive sentences
Money to be held and given back seems in conflict
Sentences unrelated in same paragraph

The Boone County Endowed Scholarship, established by President Gene Branson two years ago, receives Community Campaign gifts in the belief that donations by local businesses and friends should be held in trust and given back to the community. Four scholarships were awarded last year to Boone County students. By using only earned interest to support scholarships, funds will be available in perpetuity. This year, members of the Community Campaign have accepted the challenge of raising $110,000 to add to the fund.

Issues in paragraph #2

Unique an overused word
Complex sentences elements

Columbia College serves a unique student population. While approximately 900 traditional students attend classes during the day, nearly 1500 undergraduate and graduate students are enrolled in evening courses. Students range from recent high school graduates to adults who have been members of the community work force for many years. Boone County students represent approximately two-thirds of Columbia College's enrollment.